Chapter One: Introduction

The bench at Universal Studios, public restrooms, while driving home: it seems like everyone with Narcolepsy has a list just like mine of strange places they've fallen asleep.

Perhaps the strangest thing is that I didn't truly realize how strange this was. For me, it was just another one of the quirks of being me.

The idea that this is your 'normal' is unfortunately one of the very commonalities that bind narcoleptics, especially those who aren't on the 'extreme' end of the spectrum. I was one of those people.

I was diagnosed in spring of 2014 and can only describe that time period as a time of shock. I was initially shocked that my doctor was even considering "Narcolepsy" as a possible diagnosis, it seemed laughable, even; I'd seen the documentary on TV, that wasn't me. That opinion changed quickly after the diagnosis.

Don't get me wrong, I was still shocked, but this time I was shocked that I hadn't gone to the doctor sooner.

That I hadn't seen it.

What's the difference between being sleepy and being narcoleptic? It can be unclear, and many people, just like myself, likely find the prospect of being diagnosed with narcolepsy, ridiculous. It's no wonder that the average person with narcolepsy experiences symptoms an average of TEN YEARS before seeking treatment, and only about 25% of people with narcolepsy have been diagnosed and are receiving treatment. (Narcolepsy Network Fast Facts)

After a while, my family and I began referring to this time as my days of 'closet narcolepsy' –the time when I experienced what should've been clear indicators of a bigger issue, symptoms that I simply excused as 'normal.'

Just to be clear, and this is important, 'narcoleptic' is a term many consider offensive in the narcolepsy community. In the same way that you wouldn't say someone diagnosed with caner is 'cancerous', you wouldn't call a person with narcolepsy (often abbreviated "PWN") narcoleptic. While I do use it occasionally, the proper usage is PWN, which stands for "Person (or people) with narcolepsy."

My hope with this memoir is twofold.

First and foremost, I hope that if there are any other 'closet narcoleptics' in the world, they seek treatment. My quality of life improved dramatically, and yours can too.

Second, I hope that those who don't have narcolepsy see a new side of the condition. I know there are many narcolepsy jokes floating around, and I'll be honest I have some hilarious stories from my condition, but there's also a dark side. A side, that's simply, hard. Hard in a way that nothing else in my life is. In a way that few people understand. I hope that readers gain new insight, awareness, and compassion of a condition that is often made light of (if it's mentioned at all) in mainstream media. 

I want this memoir to always be free. If a huge, famous publisher contacted me and said, "Hey I love your book, can we make a million dollar deal and catapult you to the top of the bestseller list?" I would absolutely jump at the opportunity, with one caveat: it is important to me that this online version will always be available, for FREE. I genuinely think that what I have to say is important and someone out there needs to hear it. I never want money to be the reason someone can't access this material. 

I also anxiously look forward to reader feedback. I want to be as transparent as possible about my condition. The memoir is going to be released 1-2 chapters at a time, and if you have any questions I'd love to give you some answers!

I want to hear your stories as well! Do you see some of yourself in my story? Do you have narcolepsy? Are you mid diagnosis? The silver lining of my narcolepsy is the huge and majorly supportive community. On behalf of all of us, welcome.